


Dream a Dream

by Calsier



Category: Katekyou Hitman Reborn!
Genre: Characters mention Hibari and Kusakabe, Gen, Hallucinations, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Mental Illness, Misunderstandings, Namimori Middle Disciplinary Committee (Katekyou Hitman Reborn!), Psychotic break, References to Future, Reunions, Sleep Deprivation, analogies, sick
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-21
Updated: 2020-05-21
Packaged: 2021-03-02 19:27:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,263
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24312031
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Calsier/pseuds/Calsier
Summary: Every time I closed my eyes. I always saw a boy in white and I couldn't remember what he meant to me, but I always remembered fearing him in the end....There was a fox and a rabbit and the two were good friends. They played together, ate together, and even slept together, the two of them were super close.The rabbit was a fool.
Relationships: Byakuran & Irie Shouichi
Comments: 2
Kudos: 10





	Dream a Dream

**Author's Note:**

> I've been obsessed with Byakuran and Shoichi as of late and I'm disappointed that there aren't more stories on the two of them. 
> 
> Not beta'd.

_ Red. Why was it always red? White. Why? Why was it a monster? I always see those two colors vividly in my dream. It seeps, it twists, it never mixes, it was a violent version of yin and yang and you still couldn’t tell who was good or evil.  _

_ White. White was evil, but it had a way about it that you couldn’t help but follow it. It smiled at you. It cooed and awed at you in such a patronizing way, but you couldn’t see it. You were always blind. Blind. Blind. Blind.  _

_ It was...distorting. _

.

.

.

Every morning starts with a headache, nausea, and sometimes vomiting. It got to the point I keep a trash can next to my bed. My health took a dive near the end of eight grade year and I, my family or doctor, couldn’t tell why. I mean, I know why, but I can’t make head or tail of it. I dream the same thing over and over again in one scenario or another, but the message is clear. Avoid the man in white. 

The man in white was evil, but so was I. I wasn’t evil like I killed hundreds of people, burned their bodies, and danced on their ashes, kind of evil. But I didn’t stop it from happening either. I was trapped in this psychotic game of cat and mouse and I lost each time, one horrific way than the other. 

“Shoichi,” a soft knock interrupted my train of thoughts. I knew mom heard me get sick again, she might suggest I see my therapist again. I keep telling her nothing is going to stop these nightmares, that every time I talk to my therapist, I get more and more scared that I’ll get locked up and I clammed up. “Are you ok?”

We both knew the answer, we both also know I wasn’t going to school today. My stomach was so knotted up that I would probably collapse on the street again. Yeah, that wasn’t my finest moment and now everybody in my neighborhood keeps a close eye on me.

“I’m fine.”

.

.

.

_ There was a fox and a rabbit and the two were good friends. They played together, ate together, and even slept together, the two of them were super close.  _

_ The rabbit was a fool. _

_. _

_. _

_. _

I felt oddly stupid, like embarrassedly so. Kind of like everybody knew the answer to a very obvious question and you still got it wrong, embarrassed. And now I’m scared, I’ve been scared a lot these days. My parents and my sister were trying to tread lightly around me as if they expected me to collapse or worse. I tried to play it cool, but it’s hard when sometimes the walls around me would start bleeding red. Like now.

“Irie-kun, can you start reading pages 10 through 15,” my teacher asked kindly, bringing me back to reality. Everybody knows. Everybody knows that Irie Shoichi, the school genius, is going mad.

.

.

.

Sometimes, I sneak out of the house. I can’t sleep anymore these days, the dreams I’ve been having entered my reality. Now instead of dreaming red, I’m bleeding red. 

That sounded so stupid of course, I bleed red. Would I bleed white though? Maybe. White. White for some reason always had a way of getting to me and into me. It slowly overtook me, filled me, became me, and then I stopped being me. I stopped being my own self. I don’t understand.

.

.

.

I’m being homeschooled now. Apparently, I’ve been acting too erratically now and was being monitored closely after the disciplinary committee caught me in the middle of a suicide attempt, which was a misunderstanding. I was trying to fly. The boy in white had wings and was able to fly, so I tried to too. 

That statement had me admitted.

.

.

.

I dreamed of the boy in white. I’m always sleeping these days, the meds the doctors prescribed me always made me tired, so I see him more and more and because of that he becomes less scary. I finally accepted that he was always going to be there, all cheerfully fake, manipulative, and dirty. Or maybe the dirt is me, I’m still covered in red.

.

.

.

The boy in white is my friend. He has always been my friend and apparently he wasn’t always so evil. Who knew?

.

.

.

The boy in white always smiled so kindly to me.

.

.

.

The boy in white looks sad today. Why?

.

.

.

The boy in white has a new color on him today. Purple.

.

.

.

I was released from the hospital today and my whole family came to pick me. I still can’t look in the mirror these days, but that is an issue my therapist and I can work on, so say my doctors. They still recommend me to stay a little longer, but they don’t have much of a leg to stand on when it becomes clear that I’m not a threat to myself and others and I should stay away from sleeping pills. Oops.

.

.

.

I'm still going on my nightly walks, these past few weeks, I’ve been dreaming of the boy in white again. Sometimes he has a face tattoo and looks to be in his mid-twenties and sometimes he’s a teen. Sometimes I see the two of us facing off in some kind of battle and I lose badly. No surprise there. Sometimes I dream of rainbows and adult babies? I’m not sure what’s happening there so I don’t think too hard on it. Sometimes I see a blonde boy sucking on lollipops and he is always so nice. Some I see a man with wild brown hair, dressed in an impeccable suit, smiling sadly at me and I cry. Sometimes I dream that I’m in college and feel a little disappointed that I didn’t pursue music like I always wanted until I dream that I did and got myself into a lot of trouble. And somehow with all that happening, I still somehow...he still somehow always found me. I accepted it and I accepted him. 

He calls me Sho-kun, and we always play games, because that’s what life is all about. Every day was fun with him even when it bled red and I soaked it all up. I might not have been loyal to him because of our differences in morals, but he was my best friend and I missed him.

I walked along the river bank towards town. I was trying to avoid the disciplinary committee, who always walked me back home. They have been made aware of my “situation” and have been instructed for me to not be“bitten to death” for being out late on a school night and instead, they would return me home and be sure an adult would receive me. I felt like a package. However my attempt of an evasion of the committee came to an abrupt end and I was dragged onto the street by none other than the second in command, Kusakabe-san. He walked me over a couple of blocks and into a sushi restaurant where a hoard of people of race, age, gender in all levels of danger were occupying, stopped talking, and stared at the two of us or rather me. 

Suddenly a familiar person that I was all too familiar with appeared before me. The boy in white stared at me with his too wide smile, mischievous gaze, and nervousness? 

“Sho-kun?” He called out to me sadly. I don’t think I ever recall him ever being sad before. 

“Byakuran-san, it has been a while.” 

.

.

.

  
  


**Author's Note:**

> I actually looked up to see if it was possible to sleepwalk while on sleeping meds and it is. 
> 
> Scary!


End file.
